


Momma's Boy

by hanyou_elf



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Implied Relationships, M/M, Rape/Non-con References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 21:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanyou_elf/pseuds/hanyou_elf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I blame my mother for nothing, but forgive her for everything. -Mary J. Blige</p>
            </blockquote>





	Momma's Boy

_I blame my mother for nothing, but forgive her for everything. ~ Mary J. Blige_

I watch my only son practically sneak into the room, looking guilty, but free at the same time. He's not wearing cuffs and he doesn't have a goon escort. That's good news, isn't it?

''Momma,'' he whispers, his voice soft and so broken. So completely unlike anything else I've heard from him.

''Derek?''

''Momma,'' he starts. He stops and licks his lips, looks around and flutters his hands nervously before he looks at me, before he steels himself. ''Momma, we gotta talk,'' he whispers, but it is determined.

''Okay baby,'' I answer.

''Sit down,'' he orders. And I do, ignoring his lack of manners for the moment. ''I wanted to tell you before you found out in the public. Momma, it was Carl Buford killin' them kids. He... he was mo...'' he stops and closes his eyes and breathes. My heart stops because I'm afraid of what he's going to tell me about the man I thanked God for. ''Momma, he was molesting boys. He... he did it to me too,'' Derek stutters out finally.

My heart breaks and I stand up. How can I sit here, knowing that man touched my child in ways that were so inappropriate; when I had let him into my home? How could Derek have thought he couldn't trust me enough to tell me?

''Derek?'' I ask, because there's nothing to say. He's barely hanging on, his mother can't fall apart here, not now when he needs her to be strong. Later, in the privacy of my own room, I'll break down. Until then, I'll support my baby. ''Derek,'' I repeat in a conciliatory tone.

''I'm sorry I didn't tell you momma,'' he cries softly. He bows his head and I take pity on my baby, wrapping my arms around him, letting him rest his larger frame against me. ''I didn't want... I wanted you to be proud of me,'' he sobs.

His body shudders and he leans heavily against me. He shakes as tears fall in earnest and I do the only logical thing a mother can do, I hold my baby and protect him, and love him.

''I'll never not be proud of you, Derek,'' I tell him softly. I can never be disappointed in him, he's so determined and strong. And even more so than before. To have hidden this from everyone, to have protected this man while I praised him...

''Can I just cry here for a little bit, momma?'' he whispers against my neck, tightening his powerful arms around my body.

''Whatever you need, baby boy.''

-.-.-.-

I watch him sleep, my broken and abused angel. I never knew. Doesn't that make me a terrible mother? How can I let him sleep curled into my side, his head on my chest so trustingly, when I betrayed him so completely as a child? How can he trust me so much after all that I allowed to happen to him.

The tears are sudden and scalding as they slide down my cheeks, fitting retribution for the seriousness of my neglect towards him. I failed my son. I failed him and it ruined his childhood. He whimpers and snuggles closer to my body: my baby boy so desperate and vulnerable. He is innocent here, like nothing he has been in years. Oh my beautiful and brave baby.

There is a hesitant knock on the door and Desi walks in, the tall skinny kid Derek works with behind her. He fidgets nervously as he takes in my sleeping boy's form.

''Mrs. Morgan,'' he says, stuttering my name in his nervousness. ''I... I was worried about Morgan.''

''He'll be okay. Sometimes a boy just needs his momma, you know?'' I smile.

Derek loves this kid. I've heard more about this skinny little white boy than I've heard of anyone else. I wonder what it is that my boy respects so much in him. Derek never says anything truly negative about this kid, generally he's incredulous or just outright proud.

''Yeah,'' he answers vaguely. He runs a hand through his too-long hair and shifts nervously. ''Will you let him know that wheels up is at ten tomorrow morning?''

''My ears work fine,'' Derek growls, sitting up to stare at the skinny boy.

''I... I was wo-worried about you,'' the white boy stutters.

''I'm alright. I just needed my momma for a bit,'' Derek shrugs. He looks at me with something close to trepidation, but he offers me a smile. ''Momma, Spencer Reid, the resident genius. Reid, Fran Morgan, world's greatest mom.''

''Nice to see you again,'' I smile. I offer him my hand and he shakes it slowly. His grip is firm, but its hesitant too. Timid.

He smiles politely and Derek stretches. I know a hint when I see one and excuse myself. Maybe it's better for him to be with this Reid, this timid child my beautiful son relishes in his company.

I have betrayed my son, and he knows it, even if he will never acknowledge it.

-.-.-.-

It is two months before I hear from my son again. It isn't good news though. Spencer Reid, Derek's friend, has been hurt. My poor baby is broken by what has happened, but as far as I can tell, Derek isn't physically hurt. The problem is that Derek loves that skinny little white kid, and if he's been hurt, than Derek is hurt as well.

I wonder if my baby even understands the implication?

''Momma, we couldn't do anything,'' he growls. I can hear his frustration, the same thinly controlled rage that boils beneath the surface his father had had.

''You have to support him now, like nothing's happened. He's going to want something normal after everything,'' I answer softly. ''Just be there for him baby.''

''How could this happen?'' he asks, voice so timid and lost.

''Bring him out here, baby,'' I order. ''Give that boy a place to go that's safe.''

''I love you momma,'' he whispers.

-.-.-.-

Spencer Reid is laid up on the couch, Derek is sitting in front of him while his long fingers absently play with Derek's shoulder and my baby looks more comfortable than he has been in a long time. Watching football.

Time off at the BAU is necessary occasionally. They need to be reminded they are human, that they can take a Sunday afternoon and just be lazy. It looks so cute, this unconscious moment between them. And even though the lunch Derek has been begging for since he woke up is done, I don't have the heart to break this little moment up.

-.-.-.-

''Momma,'' Derek asks as he peels potatoes for me.

''What is it?''

''Would you be mad at me if I told you there would be no grandbaby making for awhile? If ever?''

''Let me guess, that Spencer kid?''

I can't help the smile on my face when he asks me, ''How'd you know?''

A mother always knows. He has been proud and soft and comfortable around Spencer for the longest time. Every other month, since Derek called me about Spencer's abduction, the little white boy shows up on my doorstep, standing obediently behind my precious son. I would have to be blind to miss that.

''It doesn't matter baby boy,'' I tell him. ''I don't care as long as you're happy. Are you sure that's what you want?''

''Yeah,'' he says softly. ''He's good, momma. He's really good for me,'' he finishes with a smile.

''If you’re happy, Derek, than I don't care who you're with. And if Spencer makes you happy baby, than take what you can get.''

''Thanks momma,'' Derek whispers.

''Thank you Fran!'' Spencer's voice calls softly in the background.


End file.
